There are some things that I am still learning about being a mom. Here is my list of the top 10 things that I have not learned.
10. The perfect place to store crayons and other writing utensils.
9. If a naked toddler asks for a diaper, put a diaper on her immediately or put her on the potty. Don't dilly dally around and think that she can wait another minute.
8. If you suspect that an infant has a dirty diaper, do not let the diapered area come in contact with your body--you may upset the delicate balance that is keeping the mess inside the diaper.
7. Reasoning with a 2 year-old is futile. Especially if you are trying to explain why they can't do exactly what they want to do. Just let them cry so that you can get on to something more productive (like changing your clothes because you forgot about number 8).
6. The minute you discover that a toddler likes a certain food is the minute that they will decide that they no longer like the food. So don't waste your time making a whole bunch of it unless you want to eat it.
5. An hour after you give an infant a bath is when number 8 happens (which means that you have to give them another bath). Don't waste your time giving them unnecessary baths, just wait for number 8 to happen and then give them a bath.
4. A toddler may be able to carry on intelligible conversations on a pretend phone for hours upon hours, but the minute they start talking on a real phone, to a real person, the revert back to unintelligible gibberish.
3. Toddlers do not understand the concept of a well balanced meal. To them the four food groups consist of broccoli, chicken, cookies, and chocolate milk--all other foods are subject to close inspection and hours of debate before they will let them enter their mouths.
2. If a baby seemingly crys for no reason, check for number 8 before you pick them up and start rocking them.
1. If you desperately need to take a nap, your children will want to stay awake ALL DAY and well past their normal bed time.
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