Thursday, July 17, 2008

Toddler/Preschooler Super Powers

In honor of all the summer super hero movies, I have come up with a list of super powers that all toddlers and preschoolers have.

Invisibility--Despite never seeing them enter a room, they are able to completely empty the contents of book cases and toy boxes onto the floor.

Sonic scream--With a simple squeal they are able to cause temporary deafness to all adults within a 50 foot radius.

Super human hearing--Can hear a dial tone from a mile a way.

Super human speed--Upon hearing a dial tone, they can use their super human speed to find the phone and disrupt any evil plot that the callers may be discussing.

Memory manipulation--Upon birth, they can manipulate their parents memory so that their parents can never leave the house with out forgetting at least one important item.

Elemental transmutation--Can alter the chemical elements of any food object and change it into a sticky goo that adheres to all household surfaces.

Mass manipulation--Can manipulate their own mass so that they are heavier than a ton of bricks despite the fact that they are less than 3 feet tall.

Time manipulation--Can accelerate time just by being in the room thus making their parents only able to accomplish 10 minutes of work in an hour.

Summoning--When they detect important adult conversation, they are able to summon all surrounding toddlers and preschooler to disrupt the conversation.

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